Escalator Etiquette

Let’s get one thing straight, you slow-rollers and traffic-stallers of New York: there are two imaginary lanes on the stairs and escalators of our great city, and one would assume that its common knowledge that both are for two very, very, different uses. If you want to shoot for a ten-second stairway sprint as the theme song from “Rocky” plays in your head, by all means, go for it. I guarantee that I will sense you from behind and make way so you can be well on your merry commute. After all, the left side - just like in driving- is the fast lane, and baby, you can speed as much your little heart desires. Now on the other hand, if you’re too immersed in the latest gossip update on your Blackberry, or too involved in furiously texting your latest fling the details of just how horny you, or perhaps, simply feel a bit lethargic because that protein shake hasn’t quite kicked in yet, and of course, during the peak of rush hour, do everyone else a favor and move the fuck over. Seriously. Because next time, I won’t be nice about it.